Monique M., May 1938-November 9, 2015

(I expect to update the title before too long)

This was the diceyness mentioned earlier.

My mother has stage four lung cancer (half left lung collapsed with air pockets - sounds counter-intuitive that it would be bad, but it's not air where air should be - spread to the liver below it and metastasised brain tumours) and is not expected to last the weekend. Might not even make it to the weekend. We're now on death watch.

( Ugly medical details inside )

I have possibly the strongest link of all three children to my mother. I grew up with her for 20 years, and she marked me - mostly in positive ways. Even my sweetie, having met my mother but a few times, saw from those visits and from my talking of my mother how she influenced me in being the person that they fell in love with. We had our differences, but rarely quarelled. She helped me in times I needed it and allowed me to make mistakes, but also to take risks and end up having wonderful memories I would not have been able to have otherwise.

I dearly love my mother, and will miss her terribly. I do not know how I will take this when it happens, which is why I am typing this now. This weekend will be rough, and I don't know how I will feel at the end of it, or further down the line.

I thank you in advance for your kind words. I have some emotional support, and a few arms to hug me. Most people go through this and continue their lives - especially when it's not unexpected.

Bonsoir, mamon. Merci pour tout...